Tuesday, November 30

To begin....again

As hard as I try, I will never escape it.  I play games with myself believing that in the end, despite the outcome, I will prevail.  It’s because I cling to the idea that I’m in control, even when I’m knowingly clinging to an illusion.  It’s comforting.  Yes, denial is a comfort.  But who’s to say it’s not true anyway?  It gets me where I need to be.  Even when it’s for a split second, I’m there.  I get a place to rest my worries and take care of myself.  To shut the world out and spin inside of my own creation, I am centered.  And as the ride is set too fast and I lose my balance, I’m the one who says when it’s time to get up and begin......... again.

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